(WAIKATO, NEW ZEALAND) The Easter road toll in New Zealand has taken another tragic turn, with yet another Microsoft platform becoming the latest victim in a horror weekend on the country’s roads. This brings the holiday road toll to two more platforms than the previous corresponding 2017 period.

“We’ve put so much effort into cultural loop awareness, and yet senseless deaths like this still happen on our nation’s highways,” Deputy Commissioner Brendan Baker told reporters in Auckland on Wednesday. “Young, inexperienced people behind the wheel of high-bandwidth technology products is a recipe for disaster.”

“I’m particularly disappointed that, despite our best efforts to educate people about the dangers of speed, it was unfortunately a key factor in this senseless information superhighway carnage. Our thoughts and prayers are with the engineering teams and customers affected by the loss of a promising product in the Office365 suite.”

Explaining his frustration at an ever-increasing platform toll, the death of Yammer was the result of a head-on collision with Microsoft Teams. Teams was travelling south-bound at almost twice the legal speed limit, and lost control of the roadmap before mounting the guard rail, veering onto the wrong side of the freeway, and then colliding head-on with an unsuspecting Yammer.

Yammer suffered fatal injuries in the fiery smash, “they never really had a chance” Baker said. The compact hatchback Yammer was driving was almost flattened by the out-of-control Mack truck, which then proceeded to roll several times after impact. Teams was taken away for mandatory drug and alcohol testing, but otherwise walked away with minor scratches in the collision. They were later released on bail, to appear in Hamilton Local Court on dangerous driving charges later in May.

Yammer was returning from a family camping holiday, which was tragically cut short by this crash. A service will be held for the enterprise social platform next week, with fans and family encouraged to attend.

 

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