(LONDON, UK) As news broke that Facebook’s CEO, Mark Zuckerberg, received a formal summons to the UK parliament, technology executives from around the world have been rushing to the Ecuadorian Embassy to seek asylum. The last person brave enough to test the resolve of such a parliamentary order was Charles Edmund Grisell in 1880.
“We’ve heard that the Ecuadorians are open to new technologies”, a top-ranking executive from an unnamed technology conglomerate said, citing the example of the co-founder of WikiLeaks, Julian Assange. “From what we know of the embassy, the food is very good. And technically not being on British soil means they can’t slap you with one of those summonses.”
The Ecuadorian Embassy meanwhile played down the influx of visitors. Through a spokesperson, they claimed that an unusually large group was making their way through the embassy on the self-guided tour, but declined to comment further. The same spokesperson claimed that it was merely coincidence that the embassy had applied for planning permission for dormitory-style accommodation for up to 30 boarders and two additional kitchens.
A cloud-based startup CEO was complimentary of the Ecuadorians’ hospitality, “the bunk situation isn’t ideal. They could have put in single beds, but I suppose then only 15 people could stay. Nobody really wants to share a room with Julian, but if it comes down to a choice between Mark or Julian, most people will pick Julian. Besides, they’re putting in a great new vegan kitchen with unlimited kombucha on tap. It’ll be just like home in the valley.”
It is unclear exactly what benefit the new Ecuadorian
asylum co-working space will have for the companies involved, given they are unable to locate server rooms in the ageing building. “We’re looking to put in some nice cushions, but server racks destroy the ambiance.” While it wasn’t an issue for WikiLeaks, US DMCA legislation requires companies to provide information on the physical location of data centers. “We can’t just put ‘c/- Ecuadorian Embassy, London SW1X 0LS'” one CTO quipped.
Unconfirmed sources have suggested that Mark Zukerberg will go straight from Heathrow to the Ecuadorian Embassy when he next visits the UK, under the guise of high-level talks about new Quito-branded stickers for WhatsApp. Just how long that meeting will last remains to be seen, with the last visitor staying for almost 6 years (and counting). “Until the planning permission comes through, Julian and Mark are going to be best friends.”