(BEIJING, CHINA) The wildly popular Words With Friends game has welcomed a new addition to the franchise – Numbers With Friends (NWF). The new game has been flying off the virtual shelves at both Apple’s App Store and Google’s Play Store, with parents scrambling to purchase the app as a belated Easter present for their children. Some say the launch has broken the internet with its popularity.
Numbers With Friends is the latest in a string of clever attempts to unobtrusively mine blockchain tokens.
“We never really saw the value of Words With Friends, but Numbers With Friends takes it to the next level. We’re going into partnership with our user base to mine Bitcoin, as the first step in a longer play to break public key encryption more generally,” a junior spokesperson for Stuff With Friends said.
In the new game, users compete with each other to solve prime factorisation problems, racing each other and against the clock to find numbers which multiply together to get to the target.
“Bitcoin is just the beginning of this new technology exploit. Once we’ve factorised enough numbers, we’ll be able to break SSL, RSA, and all the other secruity TLAs. TLS, if you will. It’ll be like Heartbleed, except there’s simply no cure. We’ll be able to log into your bank account for you, and empty it. Ultra convenient for today’s time-poor consumers.”
The move to the new technology was inspired by the hit UK game show Countdown, where contestants have to solve both word and number-based puzzles. “Then we figured out, our app was only half the story. We were missing out on that untapped market of numerical savants,” Head of Character Maps at Things With Friends said.
Users get 20% of the value of any blockchain tokens they mine, and up to 48% of any online credit card transactions they help decrypt. “What we’re seeing here is a huge shift in the way we attract consumers into our vortex,” a spokesperson for Social Responsibility said. “We don’t keep the profits. After buying the app for just $0.99, our users are the ones making an absolute fortune, potentially 48% of the trillions of dollars in online shopping payments every day. Just by doing some pretty simple maths. Everyone knows how to multiply, don’t they? Actually, I take back what I said earlier, I’m being told that 100% less 48% is 52%, so we do keep most of the profits.”
Numbers With Friends is available now from your favourite app store (except Windows Phone).